Tsunami Sri Spanglish Aviator Nude Nude Nude

Yeah, that's right... my traffic is WAY down, I guess since I've been away and not blogging. Or because I'm dull. Either way... I need a spike.


Lemony Naked. Ashlee Simpson Sucks. Oscar Nominations. Jon Stewart sexy sexy. Ashton Kutcher. Pimp my bride.


Okeedoke.


I'm down in Marathon Key right now. Yesterday we ventured to Key West, which turns out to be the most awful place on earth outside Disneyland. I was hoping to see Elizabeth Bishop's house, as well as Hemingway's crib. But the cruise-shippers, aka FUDGIES, were swarming and there was no way I could wait in the lines. Not after sitting behind a dreadful family on the "Conch Tour" so instead we wandered around at an old fort and went birding on the beach, which was nice. Salvaged the day by finding a local-spot and having some really good Cuban food.


But still.... stay away from Key West!!!!!


Today we kayak. Tomorrow we drive.


What have I accomplished? Not so much writing. A lot of reading Agatha Christie and watching Law and Order. And I've eaten fish. And I'm relaxed.


No small feat.

I'm all LIT up...

I haven't got the hard copy yet, but lookee lookee lookee!!!


The new LIT is out and I'm in it, alongside everyone who rocks in the world.


Daphne and Jim are now in the world!


Grab a copy today...

The Hillel "Professional" Staff Conference

I was gone this week, in Connecticut, being Jewish. And it was a really good conference for me, Jewishly-Irishly.


First of all, I was presenting, on GBLT programming for Jewish students... which was really fun. I was sort of shocked when I was asked to do this, since I don't think of myself as an expert by any means. But I guess when you compare my efforts to the efforts of many Hillel folks, I am something of an expert. Which is to say, I program for GBLT students... at least a little.


Second of all, I had a chance to meet with some of the people I've gotten to know through the Interfaith Hillel conference calls, and it looks like we'll be doing an Interfaith Summit this spring. A HUGE step. I was told my perspectives are "controversial (???) but that Hillel appreciates my initiative in this area.


Third of all, I got to spend a little time with Kerry Olitsky, who runs the Jewish Outreach Institute. He's the Interfaith bomb-diggity, and someday I hope I'll get to work with him...


Fourth of All, I got to see my girls, Polli, Whitney, and Jessie... we all began working for Hillel together two years ago, and if we could all work in one office we'd be taking over the world. It was really restorative for me to hang out with people who care about Jewish ideas and people, in a totally contemporary, zany, radical, hip, fun way.


Fifth of all, I won an award for "Did you hear the one about the bigot?" which was my big John Waters program at Iowa last year. And I got to hang out with Jerry, my boss at Iowa. And it was all very good.


Sixth of all, and seventh and eighth and so on... I got to eat Kosher food and dance the hora and sing and think and learn and listen to people chatter in Hebrew.


But one question... Why do we call singing the Birkat Hamazon "Benching?"

It's Christmas morning....

And while we aren't celebrating the holiday with a tree or anything, it's nice to have a day on which the world shuts down, a day when you can't "do" anything.


So we're celebrating that fact, with raisin-pecan French toast and turkey sausage and melon and coffee, and stray dogs (Kareem 2 and the Pigdog made friends in the yard today).


And now I'm sitting down to put together all the Daphne and Jim materials, because I think I'm going to "finish" the series in Florida this week, which means I'll be trying to get it organized and sent out to contests next week. Something I haven't done in a long time, sending out a ms.


I've been working on these poems so long, I can't wait to write the last word of poem number 60!!!!!!!


And I don't know if they'll be something anyone wants to publish, since it's such a weird project, but I'm so excited to start the new year with it done...

My poem WON!

Our little poetry contest at VS. is over, and I'm the winner!

Kareem 2

Pathetic Boogaloo...


She ran away, but then came back this morning. Not sure what to do with the varmint.


Want a dog?


(If not, for G-Ds sake, don't you dare move to East Lake Terrace!)

The agent informs us...

The agent (my agent) informs us (me) that several houses have passed on my fantabulous book.


I know it's hard to believe, but maybe they're simply afraid of the power I might wield if I were unleashed on this earth with any real distribution.


After all, I am pretty powerful.


At any rate, there are still a few houses yet to report.


Cross yer fingers?


xoL

I'm not dead...

Rather, I'm busy in Connecticut, with hundreds of Jewishy Jerws and a sickly sore throat.


New York was good.


Kareem 2 ran away, came home, then ran away again. A wily one.


Next... we off to Florida, land of sand and sea and Jimmy Buffett all the days long... Oh my.


Love to you... to the Jews... and to the bottle of Nyquil I'm cuddling with tonight!

Dirty dogs and eggplants...

Okay, so I took Kareem 2 to the Humane Society, and they told me she was 4 or 5, seemed healthy, and totally adoptable... but too skinny. They said if we spent a few weeks feeding her they could probably take her.


So now we have a dog, whom we are force-feeding the most fattening puppy chow we can find.


But the good news is that I really liked the Atlanta Humane Society, and plan to take all my dogs, all the Kareems, there. From here on out...


Won't it be a hoot when little kids all over the city have dogs called Kareem 2, Kareem 47, Kareem 189?


In other news, I got the Aubergine Anthology. Thanks to Mssrs. Corey and Tieger. It's awesome!


And in still other news, I leave for New York today, to hang with my Susan before the Hillel Staff Conference begins on Sunday. Yay!


Any readings tonight or tomorrow?

Shortly after the saga began...

I found yet another dog!!!!


And for those of you not living in Georgia right now, we're having record low temps. In the 20s, YET!


So I couldn't leave the hungry cur, since (unlike Pigdog) she seemed eager for petting and food.


I bribed her into the yard and gave her a doghouse, food, water, heartguard.


But we couldn't leave her out there. So now she's here, inside with me. And in the morning I'll take her to various shelters, in search of a home for her.


I'm calling her, "Kareem 2" because she's wearing the auspicious (shudder) red collar that indicates, "Laurel found me."


How many Kareems will there be?


(of course, nobody could ever be Kareem, but I DO wonder how many namesakes she'll get)

And so begins the saga...

Of Pigdog, the one in the hedge...


Pigdog is shaggy and brownish. Scraggly. You could call him a "yaller dog" and you wouldn't be wrong if you did.


Pigdog has three okay legs and a maybe leg. Sometimes the maybe leg seems okay. Sometimes it seems all wrong.


Pigdog makes funny sounds. He snuffles. I've been "gentling" him and now he lets me get about 4 feet before he bolts. A decided improvement.


If Pigdog was named something other than Pigdog, he'd be "Scruffy" or "Bear."


I don't think Pigdog has ever lived beyond the hedge. But it's my hedge. We've been watching him, and I've been feeding him, since July.


I'm a goin ta catch im, and make im mine own!

I'm in Iowa!!!

That's right! My hubby had some recording to do here, so we ran away to Iowa for the weekend.


Yesterday I lazed about with Thisbe and Mr. Lee Klein. Also, Sarah fed me tea and cookies. Also I watched a LOT of TV.


The day before I joined forces with Vinnie Wilhelm and together we lost a great game of Scrabble. Then we went to Margarets latke-palooza.


Today? More eating and more TV. Then....


Anything could happen.


God bless vacation.

Oy, yo...

Because OY is just YO backwards... and tonight is the third waxy night...


I insist you visit this HYSTERICAL site. And turn up the sound, yo!

Correction...

Oh my LORD!

(UPDATE: they changed the site. But we will all remember that brief beautiful time when the google search for "I love Jews" offered, "Did you mean 'I love Jesus?'"

JEEBUS!


You absolutely MUST click this link, for the google page of all google pages...


Thanks to my wonderful stepfather for alerting me to this one.


Click it now!

Variations on a theme...

Tonight is the first night of Channuukkaahh!


As most of you know, this is the holiday that commemorates how the sexy Maccabees kicked total Hellenistic ass, when the Greeks were trying to overwhelm Jewish culture and faith with an iconic, if intelligent, culture of their own.


And because a small amount of oil lasted like, forev, the Ner Tamid (eternal light) stayed lit in the temple and there was much rejoicing amidst the bloodshed.


Of course, in the druidic/seasonal sense, like all winter light-holidays, Chanukah is a holiday to celebrate light and the power of light. To celebrate the power of small fires in dark times. Like this November. Like this America.


Small flames, people. Small flames burn bright. Faith works... if you look for it. And in this season of hopeless hope... in these frustrating days, you need to believe.


Okay. More concretely, bringing it home...


Today in beautiful East Lake Terrace, the power went out, as it often does, due to corrupt and weak county officials in an overgrown city. Usually when the power goes (for no reason at all) it comes back on in about an hour... but today it stayed out.


From 11 until dusk. We all just sort of puttered around in the demi-dark, and then as the sky began to go, we took the dog for a walk, figuring to light the holiday candles on our return.


But just as we were turning the corner to come home from the walk, lights went on all over the neighborhood. There our neighbors all were, on their porches, sitting in the balmy last-fading-light, when all the streetlights came on. Everyone was smiling, cheery, sweet. Everyone was happy to have light, something they usually take for granted.


And we, Chris, Dave and I... came home to light our candles. (see above). On our way, a neighbor we've never met called out, "Happy Holidys!"


Now, I'm assuming she meant Christmas. I'm assuming she meant, "Happy tinsel-and-debt season."


But it doesn't matter. The point is that this non-Jewish woman who didn't know me, inspired by the sudden light, wished me a happy holiday, at the precise moment when the holiday was beginning.


I challenge you to find a truer sentiment.


And so... the holidays are officially here, and we are all greatly blessed. Let's make sure to remember that. Especially Kittenhead, who tends to feel overly entitled.

Sunday accomplishments...

First, I finally finished that damn biography of Hart Crane. No idea why I did a-page-a-day, since I'm usually a pretty fast reader. And it was a good book too! He was a sad one, that Hart Crane. Interesting life. Brings up some pretty major issues, and makes me feel stable, if sailorless. I won't tell you how it ends...


But now I'll go read his poems.


Second, and more, I went to a bris. It was my husband's very first-ever bris. It made me cry. So moving, the power of words. Just like my wedding day. What it means-- so much-- to call a thing into being by naming it. What it means-- so much-- to enter a covenant. And the family of it all. And the continuity of it all. And the faith.


Welcome to the world, Harry (Herschel) Liam Laing!

What I want....

I want to have a kid, and to raise her (of course the kid is a girl-kid) in my used bookstore, where I also run a fabulous Atlanta reading series. My bookstore becomes a sort of Salon for the ITP crowd, and my girl-kid is raised by a wonderful crew of brilliant writers and thinkers. I never have to "go to work" and my dog can out out too.


But seriously, what would it cost me to open a used book store in East Atlanta Village? We could also sell books by local authors, and have a kickass newsstand with all manner of crazy litmags...


Seriously, what would it entail?

Oh, Jim Behrle...

Why is Jim Behrle always talking about how much he wants to get into my/your pants? I don't think he really wants to get into my pants.


My pants feel insulted. I keep telling my pants that they wouldn't have let Jimmy in, that they're married to my husband's pants...


But they respond: "Laurel, that ISN'T the point!"


Oh well. You can't have everything.

I'm up for debate...

At Vs.

Oh dreidel... dreidel.. dreidel...

I made you out of... old American Heritage magazines?


Yes indeed, here's my "founding fathers" dreidel...


Spin away, and where will it land?


Hamilton? Jefferson? Adams? Jackson?


Who can tell?









Oh man oh man... please let it be Andrew Jackson!

I have failed...

I failed Tony's QUIZ horribly. I am so ashamed. Especially since I really do think he's the bees knees!


Also, I've added new folks to the blogroll. Are you in the IN?

Chrismakah is back...

And it seems to bother people...


Here at JewishyIrishy, we like our holidays one at a time, but we find it humorous, and happy-making... that the world is finally catching up the fact that we exist...


That we are a growing nation of half-sies, goy-toys, and semi-shiksas...


Not sure how I feel about it, but there's a little hubbub on the matter over HERE.


Most of you likely know where I stand, as the product of an intermarriage, and an intermarried myself... as a member of Hillel's interfaith task-force, and the owner of a site called JewishyIrishy. As the woman who will (BY G-D!) publish books for half-Jewish kids...


But in case you don't know already, I'll go ahead and say:


Intermarriage is not the reason Jews are losing touch with their culture. Intermarriage MAY BE the result of Jews losing touch with their culture. But either way, it's up to the CULTURE to keep in touch with them...


Especially at Chrismakah. Snicker.