So I'm inclined to rip off Jim Behrle...

And create my own crush list...

Or at least my own "fave peeps" list... which is what I thought when I read Anthony's post today on http://slapnose.com. He wrote a letter:

Dear Anti Gay Marriage People,

How are you? Don't answer that. So how about this gay marriage thing? What's up with you guys on this one?

And I read his letter and thought, "Anther is one of the good ones..."

Which he is. I wish he were running for office. When he was running for office, I wanted to vote for him. I wanted to wave a banner. Even thought he likes Phish. I respect his love for Phish. It's important to respect someone, even when you have differences.

I think that might be it for differences between me and Anth. That ...and he's a boy.

Anyway...

In other news, Killing the Buddha hits Iowa today. Jeff and Peter are bringing their heretical magic to Iowa City, on a book tour. And I'm psyched to have them here, for conversation and drinking and eating. And the reading too. Yeah. The reading.

You should go. 8 pm at Prairie Lights. Be there!

Another anyway...

So back to the idea of ripping off Jim Behrle.

I think I will indeed make a "Comrades List." But mine won't even be a little silly. Here it is, a totally for-real(in all seriousness) list of my fave peeps. The folks I'd take away in my spaceship if the world blew up, which it someday will, and I'd better have a pretty hot spaceship by then. (I'm excluding anyone younger than 21 or older than 40, because they might not be ready for space.)

My spaceship comrades. In order:

1. Chris Poma ("She has to say that now," you'll all groan. But it's true.)
2. Susan Gray
3. Emma Snyder
4. Maria Weidner
4. Thisbe Nissen
5. Anthony Hecht
6. Henry Snyder
7. Margaret Schwartz
8. Lee Klein
9. Sonya Nauman (even though she NEVER calls me anymore cause she's so fdang busy)
10. Pieta Brown

Looking for money...

All week long...

This week I'm learning new words like "underwriting" and "mini-grant" because of the John Waters program we're hosting... DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE BIGOT? It's a day of roundtable discussions on HATE and HUMOR, and in the evening we'll be having a TASTELESS EVENING with Mr. waters and he'll be doing a lecture on Shock Value.

And I get to chat him up all the way to the airport! A Baltimore girl's dream!

I think this will be an amazing event, something I'll be proud to have worked on... but it TOTALLY SUCKS to be begging people for money, scrounging around the community trying to raise ten grand. Ick.

I'm not good at begging. It's a humbling experience.

So if you happen to be Donald Trump, reading my site, please send ten grand to me at Hillel, 122 E. Market St. Iowa City, IA 52245. Tax Deductible! And make a note that it's for the BIGOT program, or it might get re-routed to some other (equally worthy but less interesting) program.

In other news... it's fucking COLD. The high today is negative one, which is not high at all. My car didn't start, and then when Chris came home to give me a lift, the passenger door on his car was frozen. Double ick.

But on the good side of things... I went to a GREAT fiction reading last night. Daniel Alarcon and Li yun Li read at Prairie Lights and it wasn't even a little bit boring.

Still planning to move to Chapel Hill!

A new twist...

On some new friends...

Because my email to Whitney didn't work... I'm sticking this here:



So that she (and now you) can see a funny pic from our Hillel staff conference.

Voila!

Settling in...

But never down...

Besides my silly list of names and a new poem and my interval training class and arranging for John Waters' big trip to Iowa and Chris being in New Mexico...

Not much is going on here this week.

But I'm grouchy from snow and cold, and still imagining a move South.

Talked to Stacy last night (as we do) from bathtub to bathtub. She left Chicago last year and moved to savannah. I was so jealous, as she described her balmy air, while my own forehead is chapped.

Chapped forehead? Sure enough!

Anyone going to AWP?

Blast from the...

Past life...

So, my old friend Jim (that I hadn't seen in like 8 years) who showed up to my "bachelorette party" in Baltimore...

Just emailed that he'd found some old pics of me, while cleaning the house.

I barely remember this girl:

And if you don't get a groovy feeling from Clark...

Or anyone else for that matter...

You can go here and a computer program will help you select the right candidate for you!!! It's all at Selectsmart.com!

And thanks for this, as for many things, to Left Pedal!

In other news, I gave a reading with Thisbe (Nissen) last night at a bar. It was fun! I drank hot toddies and read some poems, some little stories, and a kids book. People clapped.

Yip!

Okay... Wes Clark...

Even if he can't win... I want to have said this.

Do you ever, when watching PBS shows (because maybe you live somewhere like Iowa... and you only get PBS and WB)... Do you ever sit there, learning the life story of Lincoln or Jefferson, and think, "Wow! What a confusing complicated man. He'd never get elected today!" or maybe "How did HE get elected?"

I do.

You see, we're trained to look for a package... candidates today get elected because of a package. They sell a package rather than a person, and the package has to make sense. The package has to be orderly, and marketable. The package has to appeal to certain set demographics who are waiting to be told who they can vote for.

And I look at Clark, and I see a man who doesn't make sense. And I like that.

I see a man who was off living a life, while other men were planning to be president, grooming their resumes for it.

I look at Clark, and I'm curious.

There are a lot of folks who rant about how he "might as well be a Republican." And I think they're responding to the fact that he's a fucking general. It's true. And they might be responding to the fact that, as a general in the post-Carter years, he voted for Republican candidates.

Well, duh! And inner-city schoolteachers vote for Democrats. Whatever else they may think about the platform. Because they have a role, a life, a livelihood and a community.

But all this party stuff is bullshit anyway.

He's interesting. INTERESTING and KIND! And on platform points, I don't disagree with him.

My sister, who knows almost everything, read a book called the LONG GREY LINE, about the West Point Class of 66, Clark's class. And we were talking about it.

Can you imagine, being a college student in the early sixties, coming out of Officer training in 66, and going off to war? Two years or five years later, you might have been a different man. But it was 1966. The model was WWII. And when you came back, the world was a different place. But you had decided who you were and you made a life.

And you excelled. You became a General.

But on YOUR military base, you set up social programs for battered women... you did strange things... out of the box things...

And then as the world changed, you grew... you didn't fit into a niche exactly, because you were thinking, changing.

And then, years later, when a herd of random people attempted to draft you as a presidential candidate, you complied!

Dude.... he has been a Jew, a Baptist and a Catholic. How cool is that?

Look... all I know is that my gut tells me he MEANS it. And Everyone else, at best, seems tolerable.

Caucus...

Or die...

I went to the caucus last night, and it was a total BLAST! Totally old school.

I suggest that every state get off their stately bums right now and reorganize... so that they too can caucus.

I started out on the Clark team, because I love him, but when he wasn't viable, I switched to Dean. No matter.

I really don't like Dean. I really DO like Clark.

I don't have time to explain it right now, but I WILL.

Clark is anomalous, human, kind, smart, good. HE IS!

You'll come around.

Caught in the tide...

Of things-to-do...

And spinning! Once I've sent out announcements, gotten my car back, cleaned the house, taken Dave to vet, mailed out the January Hillel newsletters, prepared from my reading (with Thisbe at the Mill on Wednesday, incase you wanna come) and gone to the grocery store... I'll post for real.

But in the meantime, some goodness: New poems online (and in print) at

Rivendell

and

Salt River.

Sh0boom. Sh-boom!

Mitch Cohen...

Long lost friend....


Is now online right here!

In the beginning...

There was some stuff...


And the stuff wandered around for awhile, bumping into things... and other stuff...

And sometimes the stuff bumped into some pointy stuff, and the stuff thought, "Wow, that's pointy! Better stay away from that pointy stuff..."

And sometimes the stuff meandered through a feel of some stuff that smelled nice, like honeysuckle-stuff. And the stuff thought, "Mmmmmmmm... that is some nice-smelling stuff. I'll have to remember where that nice-smelling stuff is. So that I can come back."

But the world was dark, as beginnings often are, and so the stuff rarely remembered where the pointy stuff lurked, or how to find the nice-smelling stuff.

But life was interesting, if mildly random.

And then one day, the stuff found some other stuff. Some blue stuff.

And for whatever reason, being near the blue stuff made the stuff feel more stuffy-y, but less stuffy. And the blue stuff helped to remind the stuff where the pointy stuff was hanging out. And the blue stuff helped the stuff find the field of nice-smelling stuff.

And in general, things made good sense.

And then , for no particular reason but good timing, God created the light, and separated it from the darkness. And he called the light DAY, and the dark he called NIGHT. Which was handy, however accidental.

We call that fate.

And, what with the timing and all, it sure seemed like the stuff's luck (and life) were better when the blue stuff was hanging around.

With was convenient. Since it turned out that the blue stuff liked the stuff as well.

THE END.


By which I mean that I, Laurel Snyder, am no longer Miss Snyder. I am now Mrs. Snyder.

Though Maria doesn't like me to say that, because she thinks it makes it sound like I married my Dad or my brother. She says, "Ew!"

Yeppers! I got hitched.

On Sunday, Chris and I climbed onto a plane and when we got off the plane, we were in Las Vegas. A car took us to our hotel (Caesar's) which was ASTONISHING.

And there in the lobby were Susan and Emma! They crashed our elopement!

Which is what happens if you plan your elopement for months ahead, and you aren't good at keeping a secret. And you like to post your life on the internet.

But there they were! Yippeee!

So we all went for a late dinner, and then fell asleep. (Chris and I in our swanky DE-LUXE room, after I jumped around for awhile and yelled about the hot tub, Susan and Maria at Excalibur, which was a RIOT!)

But in the morning, we got up and hustled over to PARIS for crepes, and then to the downtown area (It turned out BINIONS had just shut its doors. Weep for it.)

There, we stood in line for our license, and Chris reminded me that Britney had been in that same line not a week earlier. my stars!

Then we hustled back to our Roman residence so that I'd be in time for my "up-do" appointment, which I was. They put pearls all in my hair and shit!

And then into my dress I clambered, and off we went. Chris was looking like a fox, and we alked through the Casino, and I felt like a million bucks. Oceans 11, eat your heart out!

A big white limo picked us up (never mind that it said Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel on the side) and we sped off to our wedding. Susan and Em met us there.

We marched down the aisle to Dave Moore (Big Fool for You) and ran up the aisle to Hesitating Beauty (Wilco/Guthrie). I wept. Chris kept swallowing and his eyes were huge. It was weird. We kept squeezing each other's hand.

The ceremony was actually very moving. And now I'm a wife.

Then all four of us piled back into the limo and, in the purple glow of limo-bar life, floated away to the Bellagio, for an incredible dinner at PRIME. Everyone ate steak. Also froi gras and beet salad and truffled mashed spuds and all kinds of champagne and wine and chocolate cake and cognac. Pretty plush.

Then out we went with drinks (no open container laws) to watch the fountains dance around to music. Impressive.

And we called our many moms and dads, and felt bad for a little while that we'd eloped. But not really.

We just wished everyone could have been there without us having to have an actual wedding. Because of all the complicated pieces, all the little details that made the situation so complex. The rabbis and the priests and the coasts and the dollars and the divorces.

Maybe we wished everyone were in Vegas. Or that the world wasn't so complicated.

But mostly we were happy. And married.

Then we gambled! And we danced on this weird boat-thing called "Cleopatra's Barge" Emma played the slots for an hour on one nickel. I won $25 on a fifty cent spin and quit playing slots.

Susan and Emma lurked near a craps player who won big, and then gave each of them a $25 chip for being good luck.

Chris and I lost some money on roulette, and the drinks were FREEEEEEEEEEEE! We lost a little more. But it was okay, because we were still married.

Next morning, with Em and Sue gone, Vhris and I explored a little more, walked and wandered. We ate lunch and I had fresh tangerine juice. Yum! We shopped for souvenirs.

Chris decided that whiskey sour was his new drink of choice, and we went to Battista's Hole-in-the-Wall for dinner. An accordian player sang "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" to us. Still married.

Then we gambled a bit more. I won $18 on the ponies. Chris won 234 on a seven dollar roulette bet, and we decided we were finished with gambling for good, since we were now more than $200 ahead.

So instead we went to the top of the Eiffel Tower...

and home to bed.

Still married. Pictures to come.

Big fat deal...

Week of insanity...


Okay... by now everyone knows I'll be getting married on Monday. But almost as important as that...

Is that I just JUST JUST!!!! paid off my FUCKING credit card!!!!!!!!!

MBNA no longer owns me. I am free FREE FREE!!!!!!

And I still have a leetle bit of moolah in the bank.

Which means that I am debt-free, a homeowner, a car-owner, and in the black. I am also a pet-mommy who walks her dog every day, belongs to a gym, and does the dishes with some regularity. I am also insured in many ways, not the least of which is health-y.

So on Jan 12th, when I turn into a 30 year old woman as well as a wife, I will be feeling like a grown-up.

Even if I don't always look (or act) the part.

EXCELLENT!

Two...

Cold...


Okay, two degrees is just too fucking cold... frigid like your Aunt Enid, like the North Sea, like... like...

Well, really dang cold!

Yesterday was a WORKDAY. I was here for 12 hours, working on my big fat idea, my proposal, which I promptly sent off to the nice folks at Hillel International. In Washington, our nation's Capitol. Where things happen.

Ta daaaa!

Fingers crossed. Wish me luck. With any luck, my Jewishyirishy thoughts will institutionalize this year, set and gel.

Onward, Laurel's brigade! I even made bumper stickers to go with my movement...


halfsticker.png

&

rosiesticker.png

and a logo too:

interfaithFULL.png

Then I went to dinner, late, with Pieta. We had wine and a sandwich, and my sandwich was the chicken kind. It had yams on it and was very delicious.

Then bed.

Today I have to finish an article for BUST, all about circus freaks. Then I'll be all caught up and ready to get married.

Right now I'm procrastinating.

Could you tell?

Oh, and I bought a used transmission. My very first one.

And I also found this, the best blog ever.

Thank you to Anthony...

For reminding me about the world...


I was just diddling around in Anther-land and suddenly I remembered something... the WORLD!!!

The world, which is a big universe, which spins, which is full of gasses and voices and things...

And which lives at the end of my radio, a string, right outside my door!

I was making chili yesterday (because of the snow and being home at long last) and listening to the debate right here in Ioway...

And I too (like Anther) decided that Lieberman is a total dick.

Which is unfortunate in general (for him and those that know him) and in particular since he's a Jew...

And so people like to talk to me about him. Also, since he sends me (since I'm professionally Jewish, and in contact with so many impressionable young minds, and in Iowa) emails every 13 seconds. He emails me and asks for my support.

And basically he's a republican. Ugh!

Why does he have to be such an old man?

As though a Jew, in order to run, needs to prove he's not a leftie-pinko-radical by opposing abortion and jumping on the war-wagon. So sad.

And then, yesterday, he had the gall to bust out Nazi-Sadam comparisons. Play his Jew-card.

It made me ashamed.

How easily does he think we'll be manipulated?

I'm still not sure what I think... some days I like Dean, and some days I like Clark...

But I know one thing... this Jew aint voting for Lieberman.

And when you come home...

There's the mail...


I don't think I do this very often, get DOWN on myself...

But I came home to wonderful Iowa, and my good home and animals and Chris, and opened my mail...

And there were many rejections of various types...

Some had never been read, and some were expected, but one was from an editor who has had my picture book for over a year, and I'd revised for her (without a contract) and waited months and months with nary a word.

I admit it, I had my hopes up.

Big mistake.

It's a little frustrating. I keep writing and writing, and no-dang-body wants my books. Sigh. So many books. So many kinds of books to reject.

I'm in the middle of revising a chapter book, and my poetry book is making the rounds again (always a finalist, never a prize), and I've just started a screenplay, and I've got six (yes, SIX) picture books out to different editors. And my anthology-proposal is almost ready.

But I still can't find the right agent.

And I KNOW that what really matters is that I keep writing... but some mail-days just TOTALLY SUCK!

Especially when I see so many BAD BOOKS on the shelves at the Barnes and Ignoble.

Huff! I'm in a HUFF!

There. Now I'm done, and tomorrow I'll be writing again, starting something new, again. With renewed vigor.

But tonight, TONIGHT, THIS NIGHT...

I'm sucking my little thumb.

It was all about me in 2003...

But I want even more from 2004...


Happy New Year everyone! It was quite a day/night. I'm still in New York with Susan, and we went downtown yesterday to wander...

Ended up meeting Alissa for bubble tea in Chinatown (which was totally fun!!!) and then Susan's friend Mahmood showed up too, and some other folks (including Susan's ex-BF... but not in a bad way... long time ago and it's cool now).

We went and found a Kosher South Indian Restaurant (very yummy) and then we walked to a bar (not really incredible)...

But then we went to the Knitting Factory, which is one of those places I've always wanted to go...

I have to admit, I was feeling tired, and also a little too Iowa for the scene, but it was super-cool, and Susan's friend Ted was playing and he was SOOOOO good!!!! (His name is Ted Leo and you should go buy his record because he's great!)

I was expecting some emo dude and a crowd of head-nodding hipsters, but it was total Rock&Roll, and energized and exciting. Plus I got to hang in the green room with some Coney Island Freakshow folks...

Then I started to fade at the after-hours, but finally managed to drag Susan off the dance floor ( because I'm a lame old lady) and into a cab...

and home...

But at home there was a domestic distubance going on. A real one. And it was SCARY.

There was blood splattered all in the hallway and wiped on the walls and the elevator buttons, and people were screaming at each other.

So we called the police, who came promptly and were extremely nice, and respectful, and handled the situation really well. I have to admit, it made me want to go buy a NYPD shirt to wear proudly.

And then we watched South Park. Happy New Year!!! Weird night.

Soon I'll go back home, to Iowa.

I have to say, tangentially, that this year was the biggest "Change" year of my life, and I loved it. But now, heading into 2004, I really just want to keep living the life that my life changed into. So for the first time in memory, my resolutions aren't existential and internal.

So...

Dear 2004,

Please help me to eat better, sleep soundly, and work out more regularly... so that I can feel really great and have lots of energy to do all the cool things I can find to do. I don't have any major demands of you. I don't need a man or a job or a move (no matter how often I grumble) or a huge book deal or anything like that. I just need the daily strength and perspective to work hard at moving my life along its current trajectory. I just need the moments of beauty that help me appreciate how lucky I am.

For reall, YO! I'm pretty fucking lucky.

And also, if you could help the people in the hallway last night, that would be really good too.

Thanks!